Dealing with Bullies

Some thoughts

I’ve always been bothered by bullies. Always.

We all have an innate sense of fairness — of what’s right and wrong. When that line gets crossed, I feel incensed. I get angry, at least inside.

I remember it like it was yesterday. My best friend / brother-from-another-mother Ben and I rode our bikes everywhere.

One day, there was a pack of boys (who were our age) who could ride wheelies for blocks and had much nicer bikes. Our parents got ours from the pawn shops — their bikes had composite wheels (and in 1979, those were expensive.)

They were punks. I didn’t really even know them — they just rode through our neighborhood one summer.

The lead punk ‘bunny-hopped’ his bike next to Ben’s (throwing the back-end sideways violently) with such force that it damaged Ben’s bike. He had to push it home as the back tire wobbled, crying.

I wanted to strangle that little shit. But — I did nothing about it.

The lead punk was tiny — I remember that. But he looked at me and said something like

They laughed and rode on

I learned to use my brain to attack bullies at work. It’s gotten me fired (laid-off, etc.) four times. Bullies do not like to be called out.

What’s the right strategy? What are our obligations as people striving to be decent human beings and just clock a check and go home?

I’ve worked with executives in fortune 100 companies for 15 years now. I’ve seen things that are not really repeatable here. The emotional abuse — the power plays — the overt shaming. The looking the other way for sexual assault. I’ve seen it all.

I’ve worked with and around people of great positional authority (e.g., over 50,000 employees); one or two of them you might…

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