Just Like the Old Writers

She had quit drinking five months ago. After that night out with friends and the soul-changing conversations with Hemingway and Joyce. No one had been privy to their conversations except her. The confused looks her friends gave her after she excitedly recounted her encounter with slurred words and extravagated hand gestures made her self-conscious.

“Maybe you should watch what you drink,” her friend told her on the drive home. “You almost sound like a crazy person.”

Crazy person? She remembered pondering the words that night, watching the blurring street light wiz pass. C. R. A. Z (that was a funny letter). Y. P. E. R. S. O. N. She wrote it on the frosted glass.

“I’m not crazy,” she replied.

“Maybe not. But you really should stop drinking. I’m not saying you're a drunk but it’s becoming a problem.”

Being a drunk was worse than being a crazy person. That night, after her friend dropped her off at her apartment. She promised herself that would be the last time she would drink.

###

At first, she had been proud of her achievement. It was no small feat after all. For years, she had claimed it was manageable. She wasn’t hiding it and she was always careful. Never drive drunk or while doing anything stupid. But it came to a breaking point because things took a once-in-a-century turn last year. Everything did. She quit, even though she indulged in a nonalcoholic beer from time to time to scratch that itch. But still, it was something that one should be proud of. Right? Isn’t that how it goes?

She avoided the meetings, preferring to meet with her therapist instead. She didn’t like the guilt that came from those anonymous gatherings with you have no control over yourself and give yourself to a higher power. She liked control; believing and giving up control was not something that boded well with her. She needed control over her life. Her therapist later identified her as suffering from a generalized anxiety disorder and clinical depression. All those anxiety and panic attacks. The days wherever she felt listless laying about. The countless thoughts of what-ifs and worst-case scenarios. The nights of insomnia thinking about any and all consequences the next day. The self-doubt and negative thoughts. For the…

Related posts:

This being the last week of our mentorship program we were given the advice on how to improve our online presence. This is a very important part of your career. As the world becomes more globalised…

Booking Holdings Co. is a company based out of Norwalk, Connecticut that specializes in travel and restaurant reservations online as well as other related tourist-related services worldwide. Founded…

Most people make this critical error in their divine partnership: Viewing their spouse's strengths as weaknesses. Because they are so used to operating one way that they are blind to the value of…